If you are reading this- just know there are a lot of thoughts here. If you're anything like me, verbally processing or journaling and reflecting really helps me get back to the focus: Jesus.
I had a dear friend call me over the weekend and the first thing said was, "Sometimes I just want a hug, Sumi." My heart broke a little just hearing that. With all this social distancing and being cautious and safe we have forgotten that as humans we are in need of positive touch (if you like it or not). We are in need of human contact.
My students are so resilient and learning to just roll with it and keep going. However, there are adults who are not coping well in this season as it feels unending. Not sustainable.
I think we need to encourage more than compare our own 'hardship'. "Online sucks" or "COVID sucks", I think we have decided that already so now let's move on and learn ways to help each other cope through this - what seems like an unending season. Or help each other to pick up the pieces and begin getting back to what 'normal' can look like again....
My friend who just longed for a hug reminded me that many feel just like this. They feel alone. It's really not all about emotions and feelings though. It's also about a lack of positive contact and touch. Due to the pandemic, there are people living completely alone and without human contact for many months. Many of us are running on crisis mode for a long time now too. We keep saying the 'end is in sight' and 'this too shall pass'. I strongly believe it will, of course. All hard seasons and even world crises come to an end but they shape us. They change us. They alter what's ahead. They break us a little inside. They may break you completely. In the moment, there is a lot of hurt and pain. But what comes after is pure beauty. We have to learn to wait and see. I'm not so good at that part....
Many people may be feeling similar thoughts but find it difficult to voice them or think, well at least I have it better than so-and-so...... This is not always a good coping mechanism. Yes, I know MANY MANY millions have it worse than anyone reading this (and myself especially!) but we need to accept our situation, whatever it may look like and live with it. We need to live so we can help others and we can serve well. Learn to empathize well, pray often, and also learn to understand what you are feeling and why. You can't serve or help if you are burnt out and have nothing to give anymore. So take care of YOU during these months of whatever is going on in your life.....
My friend who just longed for a hug reminded me that many feel just like this. They feel alone. It's really not all about emotions and feelings though. It's also about a lack of positive contact and touch. Due to the pandemic, there are people living completely alone and without human contact for many months. Many of us are running on crisis mode for a long time now too. We keep saying the 'end is in sight' and 'this too shall pass'. I strongly believe it will, of course. All hard seasons and even world crises come to an end but they shape us. They change us. They alter what's ahead. They break us a little inside. They may break you completely. In the moment, there is a lot of hurt and pain. But what comes after is pure beauty. We have to learn to wait and see. I'm not so good at that part....
Many people may be feeling similar thoughts but find it difficult to voice them or think, well at least I have it better than so-and-so...... This is not always a good coping mechanism. Yes, I know MANY MANY millions have it worse than anyone reading this (and myself especially!) but we need to accept our situation, whatever it may look like and live with it. We need to live so we can help others and we can serve well. Learn to empathize well, pray often, and also learn to understand what you are feeling and why. You can't serve or help if you are burnt out and have nothing to give anymore. So take care of YOU during these months of whatever is going on in your life.....
Comparison really kills. I didn't realize I needed the assurance that it was okay not to be okay and I wasn't expected to be better or do more or feel chipper EVERY moment of the day because I have 'more time' or 'don't have kids' or live an 'easier' life right now.
Phew. I'm so glad God never compares us. He made us just the way we are. I am in need of Him daily to remember this life isn't home. I do need to be thankful and grateful for all the things I do have. I can live to glorify His name and serve Him and boast about Him and His goodness - nothing else. It says in 1 Corinthians 1:31, if you want to boast, boast only about the Lord.
So, no matter what stage of life you are in or season of life you are in- remember that the Lord embraces you. He is right there with you in the mess and joys. He is near even when He is silent. He is working even when we don't see it or feel it.
I have a couple more weeks in this beautiful place: Cambodia. My heart doesn't really know how to respond to the transition ahead, yet I know the Lord provides a path and He goes before us into whatever He calls us into. It's the best place to be: His will, not mine. If you know anything about me, you'll know I am an emotional person. I'm learning though that this isn't a sign of weakness and that I'm not just a fragile mess, but that I can use my big emotions to encourage or help others with theirs. Goodbyes are hard, yet they remind us that this is not our home and the Lord isn't finished yet.
Even though I currently wonder what place could be as amazing as the life I've lived here and what season could be as precious as this one..... I know He plans the best for us all. It's odd when people say: "Aren't you excited to go home?" Living between so many worlds and in so many cultures means that I 'start over' many times. I'm not HOME until He calls me home to Heaven. I'm both excited and terrified to see what unfolds in the next few months. I have to boast in Him and trust Him. My arms are open wide for all the things the Lord has. I'm diving in.
My next blog will be a farewell to Cambodia so make sure you come back and read it ........ I'll write a few of my favourite memories and some great things about this beautiful place I get to call one of my many homes!
Jeremiah 9:23-24
This is what the Lord says:
“Let not the wise boast of their wisdom
or the strong boast of their strength
or the rich boast of their riches,
but let the one who boasts boast about this:
that they have the understanding to know me,
that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,”
declares the Lord."
