I finally have some time to write again. It's been a while. We just got done with camp week at school and I've realized just how blessed I am to be here in Cambodia during these crazy times. I cannot imagine what many are going through around the world with tight restrictions and lockdowns. I won't pretend to know what it's really like because I have no idea. My heart particularly goes out to those who are alone and desperate for an end-in-sight and for those that are suffering physically, emotionally, and mentally. I pray for God's presence to overwhelm and continue to be made known covering our world.
I just want to share some things I've been learning and processing. I had the amazing opportunity to help lead the Primary camp this year. Our four Bible points of the week were:
God has the power to provide.
God has the power to comfort.
God has the power to heal.
God has the power to forgive.
As I prepared each day, I recognized my own need to hear these truths. My own need to HOLD ON to Him. It's funny when you are asked to lead something for others and serve, most times it's ourselves that need the message the most. I REALLY needed these reminders. Such simple truths about God's mighty power, yet through a year like this one...... they can so easily be forgotten.
I've also been processing a lot as I begin this transition period of moving out of Asia again..... Lord willing.
I've realized even though there are difficult things about being adopted and growing up on the mission field, I have an incredible blessed life to see it through many lenses. It's odd sometimes to think about.
I don't fully belong with the Indians. I actually feel quite ashamed and embarrassed around them. That's on me not on them. They are always friendly loving people. I just feel very unlike them.
I don't fully belong with the Asians. Yet, I can connect on a deep level with many easily.
I don't fully belong with the Americans. Expectations of what I should know or think or understand is usually way over my head. I'm not one of them even though people can assume it.
I don't fully belong with the Dutch. I try hard! But I'll never be there.....
I'm running out of places now..... haha.
Especially during the Covid pandemic, people gravitate towards their 'home' and talking about their countries restrictions and laws. Conversations can revolve around, "what about your country?" or "can you get a visa and enter yet?" A great sense of pride and patriotism is seen, especially living as an expat. I envy people with a home and with that tight connection to their home country and knowledge of it. A clear pride towards one place. It's beautiful. I've never felt that. I'm learning though that through this 'no home' and 'no sense of belonging to a place or people' I can help so many around me. I can point straight to Jesus. I can live amongst the worlds and enjoy every bit of every culture. I can help those struggling with their belonging and understanding of home. I can change my hurt, longing, and jealousy to joyfulness in knowing we are all His. He is our Home. Matthew 6:21 "Where your treasure is, there your heart will also be." We are citizens of Heaven! I can celebrate with others who have that sense of home and belonging here on Earth. It's a beautiful thing to be a part of. I really do get the best of all worlds.
The realization may seem sad, but the older I get- the more in awe I am of the best of all - worlds! I get to live in this strange mixture of many cultures. I get to be one foot in all of them. What an amazing life God has given me. I get to see the unity we find in being brothers and sisters in Christ. I'm so grateful for my family and friends who accept me for me. My community here has helped me realize the beauty in living between worlds. It's not all that bad.....
I DO fully belong to Jesus!
The future is unknown for everyone I know currently..... this can either be a terrifying place to be or a humbling place to be. I keep having to remind myself that God is in control and His plans and ways are SO much bigger and better than I can ever dream of for myself. He knows best. He has never failed me yet. It'll be a difficult season, but with God all things are possible. He provides, comforts, heals, and forgives us. Praise the name of Jesus!
"Take away what you are known for and whatever is left is who you are." That could be a scary line if we are so engrossed in our title and what we do or where we are from on this Earth. Take pride in what you do and where you are from- of course! But boast in the One who remains and the One whom we truly belong too. I need to keep remembering to rely on Him and His promises. He remains.
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33
In this world of brokenness and painful circumstances, ONE thing always remains: Jesus
