Outside the Box: August 2018

Wow- what an unexpected summer it has been. I am so full of gratitude and awe.

As I have three days left in the beautiful Netherlands, I look back to the past 7 weeks and how much the Lord has brought me through in such a short amount of time.

I ended the school year stressed, physically unwell, and exhausted. I had just said goodbye to some best friends in Cambodia and realize that the new year will not be the same. I should be used to saying goodbye, but it seriously keeps getting harder. God knows.

I was anxious for what lay ahead and the mountains to climb alone. Yet, that was exactly the problem- I was not alone! During my week in London, I was anxious about getting to see all the people I wanted to. It was so precious to spend time with my brother, sister-in-law and high school friend getting married. I was nervous I would miss connecting flights and not even make it to the first day of classes in Kandern. I was nervous about living in Germany by myself and failing Grad school. I was scared about the unknown and if I could really do all this- Grad school intensives (12 credit hours in 4 weeks, four different courses). God knew better.

If you know me well enough, you'd understand all these nerves are not dramatic. They are real. You'd also know that Grad school was really not on my radar. Haha. God knew better.
Well, I've been in many weddings and this one was extra special as the bride was a dear friend from boarding school. It was so unbelievable I could be there to celebrate with her. I enjoyed seeing everyone and being such a big part of the wedding set up. What a beautiful day it was! I then stressfully got myself on a plane to Basel, Switzerland to meet someone I knew the name of but never met before.

This little town in Germany was not what I expected. It was everything I needed though. The quiet ghost-like hills and black-forest surrounding me was like living in a fairytale for the first time in my life. I never felt so at peace with people I had never met before. The house I lived in was from the cover of a an IKEA magazine. It was breathtaking and I was pleasantly surprised to be sharing it with another dear classmate whom I call a close friend. Learning together with people from all over the world and teachers who have similar passions to me was inspiring. Getting to share in experiences that to some are crazy but to a classroom full of international educators and administrators was normal. I didn't feel alone after all. I realized that the world is a small place and that I am capable of more than I think.

Another great unexpected surprise was how well I was doing in my classes. I always struggled in school and had to work unbelievably hard to get an A or B in anything. The Lord shocked me. He really wanted me to gain confidence in myself to believe that I can teach. To believe that I can do this. To believe that I'm not "stupid" or "ugly" or "unwanted" or "not good-enough". In the past, these words were thrown at me often and sometimes just repeated in my own head. I knew they were lies, but could never accept anything differently. God really broke down some walls and barriers this summer. He made me see myself through His eyes. And wow- that was overwhelming. The Lord provided great friends in a matter of a month. He truly knows best.

The greatest unexpected adventure was of course my friend from College coming to visit me in Europe. We got to check off our bucket list of traveling together. We got to experience new things and places. What a joy it was to share with her some of my 'normal'. It was a joy to have her see my different worlds and meet old and new friends. Of course, my vacation ended with spending time with my dear parents in their home. I am more and more grateful for them as I grow up and see so many students who don't have the support and Godly examples I have.

I am just in awe of the Lord's surprises this summer! He always has the best in store if we let Him lead us. I am so ready now to continue the work He has called me to in Cambodia. And yes, I may be exhausted and tired after a full summer of supposedly relaxing and resting, but every minute was so worth it. Everyday is a journey and a step towards improving myself and becoming more like Christ. I fail everyday, yet I know He continues to remain faithful to me. Thank you Jesus for everything you have showed me this summer. My heart is full of gratitude and peace. I can't thank you enough.

Focus on Jesus. Look up today and realize how much He has done for you. Even through the unthinkable and challenging moments, He always knows best. Trust Him.