Overwhelmed by GRACE

I've been a college graduate for over a week now. WOW! I can't begin to describe what a miracle it has been to get this far. I don't even know how to express it. I don't deserve anything, yet the Lord restores me time and time again and blesses my life. I remember days in high school where I thought, "How can I keep going? How is this possible? What am I doing?" In those moments, He sometimes powerfully reminded me He was right beside me being my Helper, and sometimes He kept silent, and I chose to trust Him anyway. He blessed me triple, because He is always faithful even when I am not. Today, I ask those same questions. "How can I keep going? How is this possible? What am I doing?" He once again fills me with overwhelming grace. His grace is enough. Always.

During the rush of each day, the routine of life, and the chaos in my heart and thoughts- One thing remains: His love. Everything changes so rapidly and I could be overwhelmed by a lot, but He calls us to rest in Him. He calls us to relax! He's got it all under control and all He wants us to do is trust Him and keep moving forward. He is true even when we wander and stray off the path. He is constant, forever. What a promise and joy. His grace overwhelms my soul and He satisfies my thirst. The lyrics to the song Thrive by Casting Crowns made me pause to think today:

"Joy unspeakable
Faith unsinkable
Love unstoppable
Anything is possible"

With Him, everything is possible. In Him my future is perfect. In Him, I am complete. Why do I worry? Why am I afraid? Why am I hurting? He makes me new and He holds my heart. How can it be that He loves me so much? How beautiful. We are FREE in Him. Anything is possible through Him.
I have a lot I could be worried about and be fearful about, but with a Savior like ours- nothing needs to be feared. He calls us to himself. "Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!" - Psalm 46:10


Be still and know Him. Let your heart relax and be refreshed in who you are in Him because of the promise in Jesus Christ. He is more than we can ever imagine. So why don't we just simply trust Him........

Try it. Trust Him. His grace will overwhelm you!

He is more than enough for me

         It's definitely time to write another blog post. It's so refreshing to write and reflect. If you haven't written in your journal in a while I suggest taking the time out of your week to do it. Some of my best quiet times with the Lord, hearing from Him, is when I write. The reason I blog though is to encourage. I enjoy letting others see straight through my life if it gives them a chance to see something more beautiful in their own or something more breathtaking about Christ. I love the way the Lord uses words to bless others.

         I've had a very busy few weeks but I've learned a lot about myself and the Lord. As I cried out to Him on Monday night, I was frustrated and alone. I was frustrated at others success. I was frustrated at others happiness and having things work out for them when my life seemed to be falling apart. I was comparing again. I have never had these feelings before as normally I am overjoyed by hearing from the ones I love the most how everything is working out for them. I was terrified at my feelings as I was upset at God too. I was upset about how many struggles He seems to be placing in front of me, instead of success and joy. I needed to refocus and change my perspective. I was missing out on a lot of the blessings He was placing in front of me. I looked at those blessings and thought they were struggles. Adversity builds character, right? He refines us like gold to become more like Him and I needed to stop and think about that. He was shaping me again and making me feel the way I did because He wants me for himself. He wants me to become more like Him. How beautiful is that? He wants us to become more like Him. Those moments when I fall on my knees in awe of Him are when I realize He has such a perfect and different plan for everyone.

         Some people around me needed moments of joy and moments of great success and moving forward in their lives. God works differently with us all. I clearly needed a refocus week and also to be reminded of my gift of encouragement. It brings me such real joy to be able to bless others by encouraging them through my times of trial and being on my knees in pain. I have learned so much about selflessness through those times as I look to Christ for strength as I'm weak but He makes me stronger. I needed to be reminded of all the blessings He has placed in my life. I mean it's breathtaking. My jaw drops and my eyes water every time I stop and think about all He has done in my life. Thank you Jesus.

         I realized my purpose had been lost that night as I cried out to Him in pain. I knew my tears were being held and my heart was in His hands. I believed stronger than I ever have that He is more than enough for me. It's such a powerful feeling to believe the statement that He is enough. Student teaching is exhausting even though I love my class and my teacher is a role model to me. I feel so overwhelmed to be teaching as I don't deserve to be there. The reason I almost tear up every time someone gives me a compliment or kind word is because of how much the Lord has done in my life. I can't believe it. This is all impossible without Him. I don't deserve this life I get to live. I don't deserve the friends He has given me. Yet, He blesses us time and time again. He blesses us by telling us we are HIS perfect gift. How mind-boggling to imagine the fact that Jesus calls us His children. He paid our price. He washed away all sin. He forgives. He loves always. No matter what. Wow. Take me all the way, Lord. You are more than enough for me. Thank you for all these beautiful reminders this week as six year old's would tell me, "Great job today, Miss Leonard on your teaching. You are finally getting the hang of it!" I laugh inside at these comments as I know it's all God's strength in me shining out. I don't know what tomorrow brings or what the future has in store for me but I know He is enough. He is all I need. There is nothing to worry about.

Count your blessings. You WILL be surprised at how much the Lord has given you. Don't waste your life searching for worldly things or feelings or plans. Search for Him. Seek Him. He is more than enough for you. Praise the Lord.

        








   

         

When everything changes

I have successfully finished my first week of student teaching. Yayy!! I thought it would be an easier week as we had Monday off already and was excited to get started on this journey of becoming a teacher. I had no idea what lay ahead. I got through two days with a lot of stories to tell. Some stories were great and others made me realize how hard it is to be a teacher. Teachers are truly superheroes. I am blessed to be placed where I am in a wonderful 1st grade classroom.

Stressing out about all the things ahead and comforting myself and others through the first few days was draining. I was so worried about all the work I was supposed to get done and how on earth I was meant to finish it all. Here is when everything changed.

Day three hit and I was already exhausted and praising the Lord it was a Thursday. I was excited to get to school early and help out. On my way there I got into a car accident. I don't think I have ever screamed that loud before. All I really remember is wondering how I made it out of that car in one piece while looking at all air bags open and my entire bumper across the street. I felt no pain just then, only gratitude through my tears. I definitely believe in miracles. That incident does not need to be repeated, but let's just say it was something I hope to forget. The first thing I thought of as I opened my eyes was, "God, you must really want me here." How merciful He is to answer our prayers and be listening to everything I ask of Him. I had just prayed the night before with a friend to keep us safe on the roads as we drive and He listened in an odd way, but He listened. He kept me safe and everyone else involved. I needed a change in perspective and when everything changes all around us sometimes it is in those moments we look up. We look to Christ. I CAN'T do this alone. I am never trying to do this life alone.

Just like when we enter Jesus into our heart for the first time and everything changes, I felt like everything had so quickly changed. I can't trust in what I felt or feel like today. I can trust in Him and what I know and believe. I feel like I got beat up bad, but I know that I'm healed by grace. I feel like crying and never stopping, but I believe that He loves me so deeply that He wants me here a little longer. I know He holds my tears. I feel pain every time I talk or walk or move, but I know it's such minor pain in comparison to so many and in comparison to what worse could have occurred. I believe in Jesus and His comfort. I know that adversity builds character and this week will be added to my life story to bless others someday. Faith and this relationship with Christ is SO much more than just a feeling.

Don't get me wrong though, I was very upset at myself and God. I mean, seriously? What kind of timing do you have, God? Who do you think I am, superwoman? How can you think I can handle this, Jesus? I prayed for safety and this happens? I don't have time for this, God. The car was just bought and now it's crushed. All those questions filled my mind, but that is when I realized how BIG our God is. I had this overwhelming sense of His presence and peace. "Calm down and come to me, Sumi", I heard a voice say in my head. It was like Jesus was telling me STOP in the midst of my panic and chaos of thoughts and find rest in Him. I was overwhelmed by how much He cares for us. His plans are so perfect. His will is the way I want to live my life. He made me realize how much He loves me. What a miracle to be typing this and only have aches and pains and sores. God is good all the time. I am SO blessed to have a world of family, relatives, friends, and college professors and administration wrap their arms around me and comfort me. What a true blessing to have the best friends in the world and so many lovely people who care so deeply. I am overwhelmed by the love. 

Everything changes when Jesus is the center. I know the rest of this semester is not going to be easy, but I also know I have a God who protects at all times and a God who goes before. This whole week was not how I wanted to start my 2015 year, but oh boy was it a reminder that whatever the future is: He sure has a great plan! There is nothing in this world He doesn't know and nothing I can hide from Him. I love the verse in Hebrews where it states that Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is constant. When everything changes and the world looks like chaos and feels like chaos- look to Jesus. With Him ALL things are possible. With Him WE are changed. He is constant forever. That same God is deeply in love with YOU. Never forget that.

Looking ahead is not easy and if you know me well, you know it's definitely not easy for me. But I am determined to keep striving and get right back up again. I know the stress of others gets to me and the complaining of myself gets to me, but after this weeks reminder of life flashing in front of me I was reminded to treasure every moment. I'm ready to SHINE for Him. I'm ready to see what else 2015 holds. I want His plan. I need His plan. It is always the best. Thank You Jesus.

When everything changes....................... reach out and grab onto Jesus. He never fails.